Defeating Loneliness

Jesus shows us How to Neighbor.

Why are so many people plagued with the sense of longing for something more.

Why do so many battle loneliness even when they are surrounded by people?

Genesis 1:1-31 over and over we see God declaring that what he has made is good.

Genesis 1:31 NLT Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good! And evening passed and morning came, marking the sixth day.

Genesis 2:18 NLT Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

We were created in the image of God. That image also includes desiring and enjoying relationships.

Proverbs 27:9 MSG Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul.

1. The Reality of Loneliness.

Loneliness is real. It affects everyone.

Loneliness is:

A. Desolate Feeling.

Loneliness eats away at the inner person. It saps your strength and robs you of your hope.

B. Destructive Force.

Psychology Today “There is no more destructive influence on physical and mental health than the isolation of you from me and of us from them.”

– Loneliness has physical consequences.

– Loneliness has emotional consequences.

– Loneliness has spiritual consequences.

C.  A Definite Fact.

Loneliness is something that everyone will face.

1. Elijah.

1 Kings 19:9-10 NLT But the LORD said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” ¹⁰ Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the LORD God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

2. David.

David knew what it was to sit alone and keep watch over his flock through the night.

He also knew what it was like to hide alone in the coolness of a dark cave as King Saul’s soldiers hunted for him.

David also knew what it was like to sit on the throne as King of Israel.

No matter if he was despised or exalted, David often had to contend with loneliness.

3. Paul.

Paul is one who was often faced with adversity because of Christ.

In fact, Paul often chose to be alone, but he was never lonely.

Everywhere he went, he not only leaned on God, but he also leaned on the churches and always took someone with him.

Paul had many trials that he lived through, yet we never read of Paul complaining about loneliness.

2. Reasons for Loneliness.

What are the causes of loneliness?

A. Society.

We live in a very impersonal society.

Think about it: How many people on your street do you actually know?

Everyone is so busy. – “How you doing?” “ Oh you know, busy!”

We have allowed ourselves to become so “busy” that we are not connecting with one another.

B. Service.

Those who serve in leadership roles often find themselves in a lonely place. It’s lonely at the top.

Leadership Expert Peter Drucker has said that the 4 toughest jobs in the U.S.A. are as follows: President of the U.S.A. – President of a major University, chief administrator of a hospital, and pastor of a church.

All of these leadership positions involve people coming to you for help.

When leading a hospital or a church, you are mainly leading volunteers. People who are part of the team because they choose to be, there is no monetary incentive!

Numbers 11:10-15 NLT Moses heard all the families standing in the doorways of their tents whining, and the LORD became extremely angry. Moses was also very aggravated. ¹¹ And Moses said to the LORD, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? ¹² Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? ¹³ Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ ¹⁴ I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! ¹⁵ If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”

Leadership is not easy, it’s difficult.

Service is not easy, it’s demanding. 

It robs you of your time with your family. You become the target of criticism, envy, and blame.

I can honestly tell you there is nothing more rewarding than being called a servant of God.

C. Suffering.

When suffering, people often feel like life is not worth living. There’s nothing left to live for and no one cares.

Jesus understands your loneliness.

John 1:10-11 NLT He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. ¹¹ He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.

Psalm 22:1 NLT My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Why are you so far away when I groan for help?

Hebrews 4:14-16 NLT So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. ¹⁵ This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. ¹⁶ So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

D. Submission.

Sometimes we face loneliness simply because we aren’t where we’re supposed to be. We haven’t submitted to God’s will.

"If you're lonely, have you ever thought about coming to God and offering it to him as a gift in worship? In saying, 'I've tried everything to fix it, and I can't. I've tried filling it with the world. I've tried filling it with people. I've tried seeking you. I don't know what to do with it. So I'm just going to offer it up to you. Can you take this ugly thing and make it something beautiful?" Elisabeth Elliot

"Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God and offering it back to him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory and to God himself." Elisabeth Elliot

The answer to loneliness is found in Jesus.

3. The Resources of Loneliness.

Let’s examine a few resources provided to us through loneliness.

A. God’s Purpose. 

1 Kings 19:15 NLT Then the LORD told him, “Go back the same way you came, and travel to the wilderness of Damascus.”

“Go back the way you came…”

In other words, get up and get back in the game, you’re not done yet!

Have you lost your willingness to serve the Lord?

Are you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself?

It’s time for you to get back in the game! Get busy doing what you have been called to do!

Have you neglected time in God’s Word? Get back in the Word.

Do you want God’s cure for loneliness? 

Get back to the Work of God and get back into the Word of God

Sometimes loneliness is a motivator to get us back where we are supposed to be, doing what God called us to do.

B. God’s People.

God has placed people around you.

When loneliness begins to creep in, we are tempted to withdraw from the people we need the most.

Some are facing loneliness simply because they have built walls between them and the people God has placed around them.

Elijah faced loneliness because he thought he was the only one still serving God.

1 Kings 19:18 NLT “Yet I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel who have never bowed down to Baal or kissed him!”

Proverbs 18:24 NKJV A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

God has placed people in your life for a reason!

Lean on them, get to know them, build relationships with them.

C. God’s Presence.

The Presence of God with You.

1 Kings 19:11-13 NLT “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

The Lord is there, in the middle of your loneliness.

What drives away a sense of loneliness?

Realizing God’s unfailing presence in your life.

When you feel alone, broken, forsaken and deserted, remember:

Hebrews 13:5 NLT … For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

Closing:

Truth be told, every one of us is connected to people who are hurting and battling loneliness.

We daily live among people who live in relational poverty. People who think no one cares and that there is no hope and I’m all alone.

Church, we are the hope of Jesus to the world!

We are the solution to helping the lonely and those experiencing relational poverty find what they’re looking for.